Quotes {5}

When you wake up, I’ll be gone.
It’s okay, some things are meant to die.


I think I would choose a lion over a lamb, despite how gentle and kind, any day.


She was like a shooting star: bright, brilliant and gone too soon.


 I don’t talk in “hopefully”s. I talk in “honestly”s.


I guess we weren’t an ending worth exploring.


 Sometimes I catch myself calling us a ‘we’. There is no we. There’s just a me, and she’s crazy.

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The Struggle

I feel like I’m losing my damn mind, like your face has been carved into my heart, and I don’t remember when and I don’t remember why, but the scar is there, and I can’t get it to heal. It won’t go. I can’t make it fade. And you won’t even look at me.

Never Fade by Alexandra Bracken.

Having a weak moment. I find you in everything,  and you won’t even look at me.

The Moment

After you’ve thought it all through. After you’ve decided. After you tell your fiancé you can’t marry her. After you break her heart. After you throw away four years together.

Before you shamefully tell your parents.  Before you move out and she keeps the dog. Before you find your things on the curb in the rain.

The moment you are free to be together. The moment you begin the conversation that will last a lifetime. The moment your eyes meet and playful conversation takes on a new meaning.  The moment you realize how close you are standing isn’t close enough. The moment the What If becomes What Is. The moment you give in to everything you’ve held back since you first met.

Lips part, hands touch, bodies meet.

The moment you realize it was worth it.

Oh No, It’s Time

The sun rises and we are wrenched away from each other. With long, flowing arms, you beckon me back to you. I return your longing. I could spend forever peacefully floating with you. You make all of my wildest dreams come true. When I am with you, I am home. But your enemy brutally takes me away without care for our conversation. He threatens me with consequence if I return to you without permission. We are regimented in our time together, and it is never enough for me.

In the afternoon, I see you again. Joy overcomes me. I fall back into your lover’s embrace, your soft body touching mine intimately. Your smooth hands lull me and erase the troubles of the day. With you, all the pain and suffering, all the laughter and happiness wash away into nothingness.

After night has fallen and the midnight bell tolls, I may return to you. It no longer feels like a choice. You become my jailer, forcing me to spend long hours with you. Being in your arms feels like tightening arms on a straight-jacket. You scare me. Sometimes I wonder if you will ever let go. When we are together, I am not to be with anyone else. Just you and I, and sometimes the strange, blurred figures and shapes that visit me. If I struggle free, it is only until you pull me back under. So drowsy and sluggish, it is an easy battle for you. You control my time until I’m strong enough to fight you off. When I am, I spring away as quickly as possible, not to see you again, if I’m lucky, until the sun reaches its peak.

I sigh, looking at my watch and thinking, Oh no, it’s time for bed.


Hopefully you liked my clever little ode to my bed. Sorry for the weird mannerisms; I’m reading Wuthering Heights right now.

Would this be accurate for your ode to your bed? Let me know!

My bed and I have a love/hate relationship. I am a horrible sleeper. I stay up late at night, hate waking up in the morning, and am tempted into napping in the afternoon.

The Last Couple on Earth

While I’m working on my next few pieces, I thought I might tide you over with a question.

Imagine you are either the man or woman in the last couple on Earth. You and your partner are both fertile and heterosexual; you are both capable and willing to reproduce.

Do you choose to mate and restart the human race? Or, should it die out with yourselves?

I think in most cases, our initial reaction is, yes, without a doubt. Reproduction is my duty and responsibility. My only qualm in this scenario is, should humanity get a second chance? Do we deserve it?

I’m reading Mira Grant’s Symbiont, wherein parasites try to take over their human hosts and, from there, the world. The parasitic humans in favour of domination argue that humans have made poor choices for the world, leading it into war, crime, and destruction. It’s actually quite ironic, since to take over the world, they are actually killing millions and have a pro-war stance. But it made me wonder if they had a good point.

I think I would choose reproduction. Especially knowing that life would be simplistic; there would be no continuing on as we were. I have an environmentally-concerned side that you don’t get to see on my site. I hate seeing what we have and continue to do to the Earth, and the lack of action and reform. We may watch a documentary or read an article, but that usually doesn’t motivate us to change our ways. I’m also a big fan of the underdog. I’m not sure why, but make me watch sports or a competition I know nothing about, and I root for the underdog.

You have seen how we treat ourselves, peers, animals and nature in your own experiences.

Are we too greedy and destructive as a result? Is there enough hope and innate goodness to start again? What would your choice be?

Quotes {4}

They had passion, chemistry and love, but they had a fundamental difference they couldn’t get past. She was a dog person and he was a cat person.


If you love her, why aren’t you in bed with her? Why are you out here talking to me instead?


Hold me like you know me.


I may not deserve someone ten times better than you, but I definitely deserve someone who actually wants me.


There’s nothing quite like the trap you set for yourself.


I put all my cards on the table and she showed them all to him.

 

I Was Here: Review & Discussion

Once the reading world has moved on from Gayle Forman’s If I Stay, and I think it pretty much has, I recommend reading another one of her books: I Was Here.

While not the most intellectually brilliant, philosophical or romantic book, it brings attention to suicide in teenagers and those suffering from mental illness. As well, it focuses on horrifying suicide support groups and forums, which I didn’t know existed before this.

Forman bravely opens up a discussion about death, suicidal ideation and depression in a society still struggling to acknowledge them despite its fear. She does so in an educational and entertaining way, creating a story that doesn’t lose itself to the darkness it deals with.

It quickly become an all-night read for me. It was a little off-putting at first with the immediate loss of hope from the secondary character’s suicide, but well worth persisting through. Whether you are looking for an easy, young adult read with a touch of romance, kittens and intriguing investigation, or a deeper, thought-provoking look into the world of suicide and death, I hope you can find it in Gayle Forman’s I Was Here.


 

I love things like Bell’s Let’s Talk Day for raising money for mental illness, but if people just participate to raise money, it defeats the other purpose of reducing the stigma associated with mental illnesses. I don’t want to do that here. With love for Forman for discussing these issues, I wanted to share why her actions are  important to me.

Personally I have suffered from depressive episodes and suicidal ideation myself. There have been many months spent suffering from the mental and physical symptoms of depression. Days wasted on sleep, food left untouched and unwanted, a numbness I couldn’t shake, and an eroding feeling of being burdensome. There were long periods where every day I thought about suicide at least once, if not endlessly. I thought about my roommates finding my body. How long would it take them to notice, to wonder? I thought about my mom. Could I do this to her? I  think part of it is, when we become so desensitized we become more dangerous.

But I’m still here. I got through it and I’m doing really well, for now at least. It’s not as easy for everyone though, and that’s why I think dialogue and acceptance is so crucial and needs to be encouraged.

If you’ve already read it, let me know what you think. Am I horribly wrong about this book? What else I should read?