Quotes {5}

When you wake up, I’ll be gone.
It’s okay, some things are meant to die.


I think I would choose a lion over a lamb, despite how gentle and kind, any day.


She was like a shooting star: bright, brilliant and gone too soon.


 I don’t talk in “hopefully”s. I talk in “honestly”s.


I guess we weren’t an ending worth exploring.


 Sometimes I catch myself calling us a ‘we’. There is no we. There’s just a me, and she’s crazy.

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The Moment

After you’ve thought it all through. After you’ve decided. After you tell your fiancé you can’t marry her. After you break her heart. After you throw away four years together.

Before you shamefully tell your parents.  Before you move out and she keeps the dog. Before you find your things on the curb in the rain.

The moment you are free to be together. The moment you begin the conversation that will last a lifetime. The moment your eyes meet and playful conversation takes on a new meaning.  The moment you realize how close you are standing isn’t close enough. The moment the What If becomes What Is. The moment you give in to everything you’ve held back since you first met.

Lips part, hands touch, bodies meet.

The moment you realize it was worth it.

Quotes {4}

They had passion, chemistry and love, but they had a fundamental difference they couldn’t get past. She was a dog person and he was a cat person.


If you love her, why aren’t you in bed with her? Why are you out here talking to me instead?


Hold me like you know me.


I may not deserve someone ten times better than you, but I definitely deserve someone who actually wants me.


There’s nothing quite like the trap you set for yourself.


I put all my cards on the table and she showed them all to him.

 

I Was Here: Review & Discussion

Once the reading world has moved on from Gayle Forman’s If I Stay, and I think it pretty much has, I recommend reading another one of her books: I Was Here.

While not the most intellectually brilliant, philosophical or romantic book, it brings attention to suicide in teenagers and those suffering from mental illness. As well, it focuses on horrifying suicide support groups and forums, which I didn’t know existed before this.

Forman bravely opens up a discussion about death, suicidal ideation and depression in a society still struggling to acknowledge them despite its fear. She does so in an educational and entertaining way, creating a story that doesn’t lose itself to the darkness it deals with.

It quickly become an all-night read for me. It was a little off-putting at first with the immediate loss of hope from the secondary character’s suicide, but well worth persisting through. Whether you are looking for an easy, young adult read with a touch of romance, kittens and intriguing investigation, or a deeper, thought-provoking look into the world of suicide and death, I hope you can find it in Gayle Forman’s I Was Here.


 

I love things like Bell’s Let’s Talk Day for raising money for mental illness, but if people just participate to raise money, it defeats the other purpose of reducing the stigma associated with mental illnesses. I don’t want to do that here. With love for Forman for discussing these issues, I wanted to share why her actions are  important to me.

Personally I have suffered from depressive episodes and suicidal ideation myself. There have been many months spent suffering from the mental and physical symptoms of depression. Days wasted on sleep, food left untouched and unwanted, a numbness I couldn’t shake, and an eroding feeling of being burdensome. There were long periods where every day I thought about suicide at least once, if not endlessly. I thought about my roommates finding my body. How long would it take them to notice, to wonder? I thought about my mom. Could I do this to her? I  think part of it is, when we become so desensitized we become more dangerous.

But I’m still here. I got through it and I’m doing really well, for now at least. It’s not as easy for everyone though, and that’s why I think dialogue and acceptance is so crucial and needs to be encouraged.

If you’ve already read it, let me know what you think. Am I horribly wrong about this book? What else I should read?

Quotes {3}

I was predestined to be an unsolvable problem.


 All day, all night, my fear, my fright

Was all that I could see.

But you stepped in, and helped me live

To reach who I could be.


I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve relapsed from your love.


Everyone loves her but I just want to hit her.


Sometimes I wish that I was classy, but it usually goes away after a few swigs out of the bottle.


She was a wasted thought on his mind. Filled with potential, but devoid of results.


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Every Day Battles

You think I don’t want to be over this? I do. I want to move on and stop whining and annoying everyone. I want to finally have closure and have my sanity back.

But there’s also this part of me I can’t manage to turn off. That part of me passionately believes we have this crazy, undeniable connection.

I used to be able to maintain the longing at a lower level, so that it was barely a hum in my every day noise, but he reawakened me. I remember how just his friendship lit me up, how high I could get off it. I can only imagine taking it to a deeper level would be magical. Something I would lose myself in, if I haven’t already.

At times what’s left of me takes a difficult breath, knowing what’s not there. I feel the loss of him and the future we could of had. I pathetically ache with the pain of it. I want it to be gone but I can’t let go of the ‘What If’.

What if he changes his mind, realizes the value of what we have, and I’m not there? Could I forgive myself for letting go?